David Petraeus is not Hillary Clinton, therefore he is obviously innocent.
So we know all true patriots love the Vets, and the Troops. But the folks at Dead Breitbart's House of Free-Floating White Male Rage...
He was being totally Not Racist when he said only landowners should be able to vote. HONEST!
Intelligence is overrated. If we wanted a smart president, more of us would have voted for Clinton.
Anthony Weiner's dick may be the end of the world.
Look at these incompetent loons. Just look at them!
Yeah, this one's about as awful as you'd expect, too.
Nope. Nope. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.
These darned voters keep gettng in the way of election results the Republicans in North Carolina prefer.
It's not like the Trump camp has anything to hide. OR DOES IT?
'Rigged' elections, Kellyanne's Meltdown, and Auschwitz on Ice! Your daily news brief!
Kindness and gentleness in Cuba, where the only ugly idiots were us.
Black Friday funtimes (and just a couple of deaths) hooray!
Important stories for you to read ... who're we kidding, PIX OF BABBY AND DOKTOR ZOOM!
It's Buy Nothing Day! But you can still buy our fabulous Christmasy presents tomorrow!
The most delicious way to eat every scrap of those leftovers. Thank us later!
We miss you already, Barry.
Thanks for all the memories… all right, let’s see your arms...
Come on in, we are having some cute lil yeast rolls. Don’t you want to start mowing down some warm yeast rolls? Who doesn’t! People...
This Wonkette classic was not originally a Thanksgiving recipe, but now America says it's OK to eat mac and cheese on Thanksgiving, hooray! We...
Enjoy this Wonkette Holiday Classic recipe all over again, as though The Gipper was still wandering around somewhere. Whatever the hell "monkey bread" might be...
No first lady could even imagine making something as wonderful and perfect as your editor's famous Wonkette Actual Awesome Real Cranberry Business. It is...